Thursday, September 18, 2008

Madonna dedicates "Like a Virgin" to pope


In response to the Vatican's accusation of putting on satanic shows, Madonna dedicated the song during a concert in Italy to Pope Benedict XVI. Madonna was once a Catholic herself. Madonna's says "I dedicate this song to the pope, because I'm a child of God. All of you are also children of God,"

Scorecard is needed to keep up with Kate Hudson's beaus


As Kate Hudson fans gear up for her latest romantic comedy offering opening Friday, "My Best Friend's Girl," they'll meet the newest man in her movie dating life, comedian Dane Cook. Dane Cook? He's not exactly Matthew McConaughey, but he might do if you're in dire need of your Hudson romcom fix. In fact, Hudson seems to be going through beaus on and off screen pretty thoroughly these days. Since her 2007 divorce from rocker Chris Robinson, Hudson's allegedly dated Owen Wilson, comedian Dax Shepard, Wilson a second time around, Lance Armstrong, and now she's rumored to be living with Robinson again. Here's a recap of her onscreen romances in recent years: 1. "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" (2003). Hudson pairs with Matthew McConaughey for the first time. 2. "Alex and Emma" (2003). Years before she dates his brother, Owen, Hudson romances Luke Wilson on screen. 3. "Raising Helen" (2004). To "Sex and the City" fans, he's Aidan Shaw, but to Hudson's character in this flick, co-star John Corbett is a love interest. 4. "You, Me and Dupree" (2006). On screen she's married to Matt Dillon, but sparks are igniting off screen between Hudson and co-star Owen Wilson.

5. "Fool's Gold" (2008). After a few years off, Hudson is back and reunited with on-screen squeeze McConaughey. 6. "My Best Friend's Girl" (opens Friday). Dane Cook takes Hudson on a date, but there's a catch: She's the ex of his best friend

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Sara Paretsky confesses why she supports Barack Obama



I grew up in rural Kansas, with the kind of Norman Rockwell childhood you hear a lot about these days: our two-room school's baseball diamond was carved from a cornfield. My dad, who held Army medals for marksmanship, owned two rifles. I never killed a polar bear, or shot at wolves from a helicopter, but I took care of my share of rats at the garbage dump where we took our trash in those pre-green days. It's been a while since I held a rifle, but I used to be able to clean and fire a .25 pretty well.
Our family was typically American in other ways: we were a Heinz 57 mix of religions and ethnicities. One of my great-grandfathers was a Hasid, an ultra-orthodox Jew in eastern Poland; another studied for the Catholic priesthood before realizing that life wasn't meant for him. Other great-great grandfathers were part of the generation of Puritan preachers who settled New England in the seventeenth century.
In my family, as in so many blended American families, our central holiday was the Fourth of July. On that day, it didn't matter if you spoke to the Divine Presence in Hebrew or Latin or English; it didn't matter if the Divine spoke back to you through tongues or in Isaiah's still small voice, or didn't speak at all. What mattered was that we all came together to celebrate this sweet land of liberty.
On the Fourth of July, my father taught us the history of the country. My mother had my brothers and me memorize sections of the Declaration of Independence and of the Constitution. We learned:
We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do establish and ordain this Constitution for the United States of America.
We the People. Not, we the billionaires. Not, we the believers in Creationism. Not, we the oil industry lobbyists. Just, we the people.
This is why I support Barack Obama for President of the United States. He understands this mandate, and he has lived it during fourteen years of public service.
The Founders of this country could not have imagined our health care system when they wrote that they wished to "promote the general welfare." But they surely did not confuse "the general welfare" with the wealth and health of the few. In America today, we taxpayers give the Republican president and his would-be successor free health care of the highest quality in the world. When Mr. Bush returns to Crawford, and Senator McCain to Sedona, we taxpayers will continue to provide them this gold-plated health care. Meanwhile, Mr. Bush and Mr. McCain have told us taxpayers to go to the emergency room when we're sick.
Barack Obama, from the day he entered public life, has understood that we all share the blessings of liberty, and that we all share the costs and the benefits of those blessings. As a state legislator in one of America's largest states--with almost twenty times the population of Alaska--he worked with Republicans and Democrats to create affordable health care for Illinois children, so that when they were sick, or born with disabilities, their mothers didn't have to line up in an emergency room. He worked for the welfare of our oldest citizens, who had given a life of service to this country, and did not need to spend their final years in poverty and indignity. As a United States Senator, Barack Obama has continued that important, bi-partisan work.
When the Founders of our country talked about "establishing justice," they wanted justice for all Americans without fear or favor. We've lived in a poisonous atmosphere for the last eight years, where if you paid lip service to religion, you could buy and sell our natural resources while having cocaine and sex parties. You could fire federal prosecutors for not supporting the president. You could threaten to put librarians in prison for the crime of consulting a lawyer when the Department of Justice came calling at their libraries.
This is also why I support Barack Obama for President of the United States. He believes that justice means observing the law impartially for all, not just for the wealthy, not just for people who pay lip service to religious beliefs.
I have spent the last forty years working for women's rights to be treated as full and equal citizens under the law. And this is the final reason that I support Barack Obama.
I have a fourteen-year-old granddaughter, and like all grandmothers, my beloved granddaughter is dearer to me than anything else on this earth. I want her to grow up in a world where she can make the most important decisions about her life in the privacy of her home or doctor's office: her decisions about whether to become pregnant, whether to be a mother. She doesn't need a government telling her what to do.
Governor Palin has demanded privacy for her teen daughter's pregnancy, and for the Palin family's decisions about sex education and contraception, but the governor, and Senator McCain, both want my granddaughter's decisions to be the government's business.
If Barack Obama is elected president, he will keep the government out of our bedrooms. He will return our nation to the serious work the Republicans have abandoned for far too many years: providing for the common defence, promoting the general welfare, securing the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our posterity.
Sara Paretsky is a writer whose most recent books are the essays Writing in an Age of Silence and the novel, Bleeding Kansas.
Barack Obama
I grew up in rural Kansas, with the kind of Norman Rockwell childhood you hear a lot about these days: our two-room school's baseball diamond was carved from a cornfield. My dad, who held Army medals ...
I grew up in rural Kansas, with the kind of Norman Rockwell childhood you hear a lot about these days: our two-room school's baseball diamond was carved from a cornfield. My dad, who held Army medals ...

John Cussack says Mccain/palin worse than Bush



We all know McCain has sold his soul to win. Big mistake: the Democrats are taking the GOP bait, especially on Palin. She is the ultimate distraction. If we're not careful she'll be the final distraction. The perfect new celebrity -- Sarah Barracuda -- to capture the message in the 24-hour spin orgy, all the while attacking Obama as an elite celebrity. Any narrative that focuses on her -- any -- is a win for Republicans, carrying an undercurrent of race wars, gender wars, class wars. All ending with a debate on God and a return visit to Rev. Wright.
Palin is a gateway drug to a back-alley brawl Obama can't win. A Joseph Conrad-produced reality show/sitcom with Palin replacing Roseanne Barr fighting for the little guy with sass and sex. Wonderful.
Watch McCain repeat "maverick" 300 times a day, like a mantra, 'til Election Day. Republicans and hockey moms against corruption and Lear jets. Orwell for second graders: distraction and chaos, phony scandals and bullshit patriotics from the crew that would install an inexperienced neophyte -- not even put through the crucible of the national stage -- a heartbeat away from the greatest nuclear arsenal the world has ever known, and not blink. Darkest reptilian politics that speak to the ultimate calcified cynicism of Republicans.
Democrats need to ignore her -- unless she speaks about policy -- maybe she can explain and solve the collapsing world markets -- and keep the focus relentlessly on the disastrous results of Bush/McCain/Republican rule. They need to remind voters of the disasters of the last seven-plus years. Specifically. And as people have been saying, we need to be mad as well as inspired.
John McCain is the Republican Party as much as Bush -- we need to be constantly reminded of the policies (and, yes, the crimes) that are threatening this country from within.
Obama must hit Republicans ten times harder. Let's hear about war profiteering, taxpayer-funded mercenary armies and privatizing core functions of state, habeas corpus and warrantless wiretapping and presidential signing statements, and Katrina and justice department politicization, and phony intel and Abu Ghraib, rendition and torture.
If the Democratic leadership wants to disregard its base and continue to disregard the rule of law, they deserve to lose...and will. Let's hope the Obama campaign doesn't come to this conclusion 10 days out. He needs to articulate his vision of the future, but he also needs to articulate a version of reality. The fiercest urgency is needed now.
But some other fundamentals seem to be lost in the frenzy. McCain is no maverick, but it is worth understanding why the rabid right wing is cheering his call for government "reform" and to change "how government works at every level."
McCain won't just be more of the same -- it will be worse than Bush-Cheney -- using the disasters of the past eight years and the actual crises we face to double down on the American Enterprise/Heritage Foundation vision of government that desires, as Grover Norquist said, to shrink government until "we can drown it in a bathtub."
I would recommend a return visit to the groundbreaking Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein.
McCain, who said he knows nothing about economics, will surely hand over the reins to the Friedmanites and neoconservatives who have sent the country on a path to ruin. Anyone looking at his team could tell you that. Palin and the interests she represents are even further to the right.
Now, no one in their right mind -- including reasonable independents and Republicans -- wants to double down on neocon ideology, but here comes the "maverick" and his economic advisers to use the crises we face to implement more "change" and "reform" to the system by privatizing everything in sight. Is this what the American people want? When they are aware of it, the answer is always no. It's the same bullshit re-branded.
It may happen in a shock therapy in the first 100 days, or financial chaos may force them to wait until things stabilize, but sooner or later they will follow their fundamentalist creed. Ruin the government you are purporting to run and turn it over to privatization frenzy, creating a shadow government of private corporate rule. That's the whole idea.
So let's brand bust this maverick gibberish but understand the coded language that belies their true mission... we should take them at the true meaning of their words.
Not just more of the same -- worse than the same. Times of crisis are great opportunities to implement the radical agendas we usually reject.
That's also the idea.
McCain and the neocon ideologues won't "reform" government, they will gut government and privatize everything in sight in the name of responding to the crises they helped engineer through Bush and Cheney. Their view of government is the reverse of the Hippocratic Oath: do harm and then when the patient is sick, give the wrong medicine, watch him die, and sell off the body parts.
They will destroy the Department of Energy, HUD and anything else they can get their hands on. With this crew, all you need to do is destroy government, privatize it and get out of the way, and then a magic utopia appears. Well, actually it doesn't, but a lot of connected people get rich, and in the privatized war business, blood money flows and a fuck of a lot of innocent people die. The numbers and the misery are staggering. The legacy of Bush/McCain is a legacy of shame. Any man that stood with this criminal administration should be forced to answer for it.
The Republicans have been ruinous and most of it stems from an ideology that leaves the government in ruins. McCain has been on board hook, line and sinker. He voted with Bush over 90% of the time. End of story.
It is fundamentally corrupt and dishonest to call it reform when leaders want to cripple government, then hand it over to private industry, usually subsidized by taxpayers, but for other people's profits. More like contempt for government.
Red meat for dummies... a horror show for the rest of us.
Obama needs to explain to the country what this will cost us in real terms -- however many billions a day in Iraq and what that could buy, repair, fix, and allow in human terms -- ask us if can we afford it, and Obama must -- to use imagery the neocons can understand -- knock them down, put his boots on their throats, and never let up.
John McCain
Sarah Palin
We all know McCain has sold his soul to win. Big mistake: the Democrats are taking the GOP bait, especially on Palin. She is the ultimate distraction. If we're not careful she'll be the final distract...
We all know McCain has sold his soul to win. Big mistake: the Democrats are taking the GOP bait, especially on Palin. She is the ultimate distraction. If we're not careful she'll be the final distract...

Barack Obama raises the funding roof for u.s elections





Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama raised a record $66 million in August, his highest monthly figure and almost $20 million more than Republican rival John McCain.Obama's total since entering the race in early 2007 is now more than $450 million -- a figure that confirms his standing as the most successful fundraiser in U.S. political history.Obama has surpassed President Bush as history's most prolific political fundraiser. Bush raised $270 million for his reelection campaign four years ago, and $95 million in 2000, for a total of $365 million.Additionally, the Democratic National Committee and other committees established by the DNC and the candidate raised $17.3 million in August.The Obama campaign also said $10 million came in during the days after Aug. 29, when McCain selected Sarah Palin as his vice presidential nominee.The Republican National Committee took in $23 million in August. With McCain's $47 million, the two sides will have entered the final two months with combined bank accounts of about the same size.Anthony Corrado, a campaign finance expert at Colby College in Waterville, Maine, predicted that Obama, McCain and their political parties would spend $220 million to $240 million each between now and Nov. 4."They have built an infrastructure like we've never seen," Corrado said of the Obama campaign, pointing to the $20 million Obama has poured into a Latino voter registration drive and field operations in the battleground states.Obama's latest receipts counter talk that his fundraising had tailed off. Corrado said such talk reflected a lack understanding of how Obama had built his fundraising operation.Obama relies on high-end donors to give the maximum $2,300 directly to his campaign account, but has more than 2 million donors overall, many of whom give small amounts regularly over the Internet.Obama has several large-dollar fundraisers in the coming days, including one Tuesday at Greystone Mansion in Beverly Hills. Donors are expected to give $28,500 to the Democratic National Committee.Barbra Streisand will headline a separate event at the Regency Wilshire in Beverly Hills that same evening.Additionally, former President Clinton has promised to campaign for Obama and is sure to raise millions more.Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton campaigned for Obama on Sunday in the key battleground state of Ohio, urging supporters in Elyria and Akron to work as hard for Obama and Joe Biden as they had for her, the Associated Press reported. She revised her Democratic convention admonition to: "No way, no how, no McCain and no Palin!"Meanwhile, organized labor and others launched multimillion-dollar ad campaigns in battleground states.The two-million member Service Employees International Union announced Sunday that it was spending $2.1 million on pro-Obama advertising. The union already has spent $21 million on the presidential campaign, including $9.7 million since June, when Obama locked up the nomination, Federal Election Commission disclosures show.The latest ad is airing in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan, New Mexico, Wisconsin and Iowa. It depicts a mother discussing the strain placed on her family by the tough economic times.The announcer then says: "John McCain said, 'I know a lot less about economics . . . I still need to be educated.' . . . No wonder he said we're better off than we were eight years ago."Also Sunday, the Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund announced it would run the first ad to specifically target Palin. The ad, to run in Ohio, focuses on her support for aerial hunting of wolves and shows gruesome footage of a hunt and a mortally wounded wolf."Sarah Palin not only condones the aerial hunting of wolves and bears, she actively promotes it," the organization said in a statement. "She has even gone so far as to propose a bounty of $150 for every severed left foreleg of a wolf the hunters can produce."McCain's campaign did not respond to a request for comment about the ad and Palin's stand on wolf hunting.Independent groups have spent $52 million on the presidential race since last year.A new nonprofit group, the American Issues Project, spent $2.8 million last month on ads attacking Obama over his relationship with former Weather Underground activist William Ayers.The group is preparing a new round of ads attacking Obama. The National Rifle Assn. has spent $230,000 to defeat Obama.On Sunday, McCain campaigned under overcast skies in New Hampshire, where he and his wife, Cindy, visited the state's largest motor speedway before the Sylvania 300 NASCAR race.McCain dropped in on racing crews in the company of racing legend Richard Petty and Red Sox pitching ace Curt Schilling, and helped welcome the drivers at the starting line.McCain later told a local television station that he was a huge NASCAR fan, though he did not stay for the race. (McCain headed back to the airport Sunday afternoon to fly to Jacksonville, Fla., for a campaign rally this morning.)McCain, who has been under increasing fire for misleading advertising attacking Obama, did not talk about the campaign at the racetrack. But elsewhere, he drew criticism from an unexpected source.Former Bush strategist Karl Rove told "Fox News Sunday" that he believed some of McCain's ads had "gone one step too far in sort of attributing to Obama things that are, you know, beyond the 100% truth test."After campaigning in the key battleground of Florida today and Tuesday, McCain plans to meet up with Palin for a rally Tuesday afternoon in Youngstown, Ohio.

anything new attracts attention



Palin draws crowds, McCain doesn't.

For the same reasons that Obama draws crowds, and Joe Bidden doesn't.

People are excited by the "new and different": Obama for his race -- the first black President!. Palin for her gender -- the first woman Vice President.

Unfortunately, inexperience seems to be the fashion of the political day, no matter what party you belong to.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Princess Leslie Tripathy: VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA

Princess Leslie Tripathy: VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA


VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA


i dont hate sarah palin,but i hate the idea of Republicans coming up with a cheap trick of using a woman to woo woman voters.Republicans are schemers,pure evil. and U.S.A would head towards permanent doom if they elect Mc Cain as prez instead of Obama.T oldie Mccain,nevr know wont last more than 2years and then the Americans shall b doomed under the inexperienced..yu name it under palin.God enlighten the Americans who support Mccain n' team and see n' learn n' harbour goodness,change n' hope under Obama.Obama's the best.My dearest friends who shall b voting in America,pliz VOTE FOR OBAMA N' BIDEN. AMEN

Oprah Winfrey is a golden hearted Celebrity-the most generous











US talk show host Oprah Winfrey has been named the most generous celebrity for the second year running, according to a charity's annual list.

The Giving Back Fund, a group that encourages philanthropy, said the star's charities spent $50.2m (£28m) in 2007 on health care and education.

Second place on the list was trumpeter and A&M records co-founder Herb Alpert, followed by singer Barbra Streisand.

Paul Newman was fourth and Mel Gibson rounded off the top five.

Winfrey, a former Bob Hope Humanitarian Award winner, was named the world's most powerful celebrity in June, by business magazine Forbes.

MOST GENEROUS STARS


1. Oprah Winfrey - $50.2m (£28m)
2. Herb Alpert - $13m (£7.2m)
3. Barbra Streisand - $11m (£6.1m)
4, Paul Newman - $10m (£5.6m)
5. Mel Gibson - $9.9m (£5.5m)



In September last year, she also topped the list of highest-paid TV personalities.

According to the survey The Herb Alpert Foundation spent $13m (£7.2m) on education, including the UCLA Herb Alpert School of Music.

Last year Streisand donated $11m (£6.1m)

Around $10m (£5.6m) was given to the Scholarship Kenyon College by Newman.

Gibson gave $9.9m (£5.5m) to the Holy Family Church in Malibu, California.

kirsten dunst speaks out- part 2











If Kirsten sounds like a therapist, that’s her furthest goal. “I just want to be a good friend to people, that’s all,” she says. With that in mind, she’s trying to form a grassroots organization to help women discuss their problems. She considers Samantha Ronson’s reported relationship with Lindsay Lohan, for instance, a positive influence on teenagers. “I’m sure there are a lot of girls out there who are so much more comfortable because they love Mean Girls and Lindsay’s dating a girl,” Kirsten says. “I think that couldn’t be better. I know them enough to know that, deep down, they’re both sweet girls.”

At the same time, she’s trying to focus on what she does best: making movies. It helps that she fell in love with acting again on the set of the upcoming All Good Things, a murder mystery/love story set in the 1980s in which she plays a girl from the wrong side of the tracks who falls for a disturbed real estate scion (Ryan Gosling).

“I remember reading an article about Jodie Foster, that at one point she wanted to give up acting and go be a ski bum, and then she did The Accused and it reignited her passion for what she does again,” Kirsten says. “All Good Things was a little bit like that for me. After you go through a difficult time, you don’t care anymore. You’re so much more free. You’re not as scared, and you’re not as dependent on what other people think of you.”

The director, Andrew Jarecki (of the Oscar-nominated documentary Capturing the Friedmans), let her make the part her own. “Not everyone wants to see a woman be messy and scream and be angry and sexy and funny all at the same time,” Kirsten says. “That’s what I wanted to do in this movie, and that’s what he let me do. That’s why I think John Cassavetes and Gena Rowlands made such amazing things together, because he loved her for every bit of her.”
Though she has spoken for years about wanting to make her own movies, Kirsten finally founded Wooden Spoon Productions with two of her girlfriends this summer. “The more I see and know about life, the more ideas I have and the more I want to make art,” says Kirsten, who also paints and draws in her spare time. “I’ve learned enough and met enough people along the way that I feel like we could put good people together and do amazing things.”

Their first project is a documentary called Why Tuesday?, about the movement to shift Election Day to the weekend so that more Americans can vote. “We’re not going to make a superliberal documentary,” she says of the film, which she plans to coproduce and codirect with Jacob Soboroff, the executive director of the organization Why Tuesday? “I just love this subject matter because it’s nonpartisan. People pay so much attention to celebrities, so if you can say something [positive], you can get things rolling sometimes.”

After that, she hopes to direct some music videos — “I have a lot of good, cheap ideas” — and eventually features. “I know I have it in me,” she says of a career behind the camera. Her aesthetic, at least, is impossibly chic, with references from The Night Porter, Picnic at Hanging Rock, and A Woman Under the Influence peppered through our conversation. “I can put together a nice house,” she says. “Why can’t I put together a good community of people to help me facilitate a vision that I have? It’s easier when you’re famous,” she admits, “[but] I’ve paid my dues, and I get to do what I want to do.”

This month, Kirsten plays a celebrity journalist and aspiring novelist in How to Lose Friends & Alienate People, based on the memoir by Toby Young. “I obviously get that world, but I get the person she is,” she says of the character. “The person who hates she’s in that world ...but who’s doing it anyway.” Kirsten is considering leaving a big part of her world behind by selling the lovely three-bedroom home in which she’s currently sitting to live in Manhattan full time. In New York, she says, it’s easier to blend in. “People don’t care,” she explains. “There are so many interesting people doing more important things.” She hopes to have her TriBeCa apartment, which she purchased in 2007, ready in a year. “I haven’t really started it, and I’m very hands-on. I’m not someone who hires someone to do their houses for them.”

The move would keep her close to one of her favorite hangouts, the Beatrice Inn. “They keep people out who will write stuff and blog about it,” she says. “But I’m not going to go there if what I do is written about. I’m very aware. I’m like an eagle eye. I’m not free as a bird [when I’m there], but I love to dance. And I literally have gone up to people and said, ‘Did you just take my picture?’ I have to protect myself.”

She protects herself in other ways, too, like not speaking about her romantic entanglements. “I don’t look around. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t,” she notes. Matt Creed, the DJ she has lately been spotted with, is just a friend, she insists. Rumors about a fling with Justin Long (a.k.a. Drew Barrymore’s ex and the “I’m a Mac” guy) are “the funniest thing on the planet Earth. I don’t know him from Adam. I met him once, and he and his friends were kind enough to walk me home. I’ve never seen him since.” Still, Kirsten would love to start a family. “I can’t wait to have kids one day. I want to have kids and a farm with lots of animals on a lake,” she says. At that point, she’ll maybe even put to music some of the lyrics she’s written in the several years that she’s been teaching herself guitar. For the moment, however, it’s just her and Cat Stevens, her longtime pet kitty, who has been living with her mother, but she plans to make the East Coast trek this fall.

“Listen, I’m happy single or not single,” Kirsten says with authority and a twinkle in her eye. “Everyone has to get to the point where they love themselves. Now I love me, so I’m okay.”

kirsten dunst speaks out-part 1







On a shelf in Kirsten Dunst's cozy Nichols Canyon home, high up in the Hollywood Hills, among volumes of poetry by Anne Sexton and biographies of Zelda Fitzgerald and Deborah Harry (whom she hopes to soon play in a movie about Blondie), sits a plastic-framed copy of L. Ron Hubbard's Scientology Code of Honor. Kirsten, who has gone by the nickname Kiki since she was a small child and couldn't pronounce "Kirsten," is not a Scientologist. This was a relatively recent gift from Tom Cruise, with whom she starred in 1994's Interview with the Vampire, her breakout film that garnered her a Golden Globe nomination at the age of 12. She likes to show the Code to everyone who comes to visit, as if it were a piece of artwork like one of the MariEastman canvases hanging above her fireplace.
Though the 26-year-old clearly keeps the Code around less for affirmation (it offers wisdom like "Never need praise, approval, or sympathy" and "Be your own adviser, keep your own counsel, and select your own decisions") and more because it's just so L.A., Kirsten concedes that such advice is nothing to be scoffed at, especially for a young actress who is picked apart in the tabloids and scrutinized in the news media on a regular basis. Indeed, her current philosophy is "Trust yourself first." It's an attitude that came out of her time earlier this year at Cirque Lodge, a rehabilitation facility in Sundance, Utah, where she checked in for depression. Though she confesses she is doing better than ever, she hesitates to talk about the circumstances.

"I don't want to get into too much detail, because I give a quote and then it's blogged about on the Internet for the rest of my life," she explains, lighting an American Spirit at her kitchen table. Her hair is long, golden, and healthy, and she wears a casual but chic navy shirtdress. My Morning Jacket, one of her new favorite bands, plays on the speakers. The waft of a jasmine A.P.C. candle fills the room. "I don't want to be hassled about it. I would like to be a person who can help people, but privately."
"Everyone goes through a hard time in their life," Kirsten continues, sipping a cup of freshly made coffee with rice milk. "They just don't have to do it in front of tons of people and with our media the way it is. I did, and I'm lucky that I had the resources and the money to take care of myself. I learned a lot."

She describes herself prior to Cirque Lodge as “enormously co-dependent.” “I wasn’t taking care of myself emotionally. I wasn’t expressing my anger. I was making nice all the time. When you spend your entire life as a child actress, being told where to go and where to stand, you’re performing constantly for people. It definitely breeds the kind of person who’s dependent on other people’s approval. If I’d trusted myself and listened to myself all the times that I ignored myself, I would have been fine. But everyone has to learn their lesson, and now I’ve got it.

“Now,” she breathes, “I’m great.”

Women, she believes, have an especially hard time in the Hollywood pressure cooker. “I don’t buy the rag mags, but I was looking at the cover of one, and an actress’s husband apparently had cheated on her. Who knows if it’s true? But they don’t put the guy on the cover, going, Look at what this guy did. They put the girl on the cover, going, Look at what he did to her. That is the stuff that I have no tolerance for,” Kirsten explains firmly. “Guys will go do this, that, and the other and they’re cool, and girls will go out with their friends and do this and it’s ‘horrendous.’ If a guy’s flirting with me, I’m the slut. It can kill a girl’s spirit.”

LOVE is irresistably tempting,now its given way for affaira,flings




Most days I take either the train or bus to work. Today I took the bus and as I sat in my seat this morning, staring out the window (that's all I can do on a bus since I get sick reading) I noticed Hot Guy lined up to get on at the stop after mine. He was so cute—maybe in his late 20s with a six o'clock shadow (a littler heavier than 5 o'clock, sort of a la Brad Pitt). He had on this cool suit, but no tie. Now yes, I'm married. And yes, I'm happy. But in my head, for my 35 minute ride, I was going to have an affair of the mind with Hot Guy, who was now boarding. I looked up at him and in my mind I pleaded, "Oooo sit next to me!" Thankfully, my subliminal message flew right over the extra-large girl who had so many bags she looked like she was running away from home, and landed directly into Hot Guy's head. And he sat down next to me. Over the course of the next 30 minutes, I just stared out the window, listening to love songs, fantasizing about Hot Guy courting me, Hot Guy and me laughing over a bottle of wine, Hot Guy and me having a passionate kiss in the rain, all wet and sexy. I surreptitiously turned my engagement ring around, but I suspect Hot Guy already spied it. Then all of a sudden Hot Guy sneezed.

"Bless you," I said, breathy and sweet, conjuring up my pre-married, flirtatious self. I even batted my eyelashes—a little.

"Thanks," said Hot Guy.

Inside, I was bubbling with delight! Of course Hot Guy was completely taken not only by my coquettish demeanor, but he was thoroughly turned on by my impeccable manners! If only we weren't on the bus. If only we were somewhere else, like, oh, I dunno, Spain. If only I wasn't spoken for. If only....

I picked up on the sexual tension that was mounting between us somewhere around Exit 7. Then I quickly changed my thought—obviously, I was mistaken. Why would Hot Guy have sexual tension for me? Clearly, I'm married. I had a coffee stain on my rain coat. I was listening to the Karate Kid Soundtrack on my iPod. I'm a homeowner for crying out loud! I'm a total dork!

But when the bus pulled into our final destination, Hot Guy, who had the aisle seat, stepped back, held out his hand, and said, "After you" with a smile only Hot Guy could smile. I walked down the aisle secretly elated, knowing that if I were single, if I were looking for a man, if I didn't have darling Dan, I could have Hot Guy. Mission accomplished.

I felt Hot Guy follow me through the bus station, but I knew we had to part ways. I started to lag, and stopped in front of a store window. I turned my head to watch Hot Guy pass me. "Good bye Hot Guy," I said to myself. Perhaps in another lifetime, we will meet again.

Platonic LOVE/FRIENDSHIP....FLINGS CAN THEY BE PLATONIC?







A friend of mine—who've I've mentioned in the blog before—is getting married this weekend. But on a business trip a few weeks ago, she had what she's referred to as her "last platonic fling." Basically, she met a C list celebrity, spent the night flirting with him, and got all tingly inside,. But did not pursue anything more—not even a kiss. Even though she wanted to. Even though she still thinks about him. She admits that had she been single (and not so in love with her fiance) she totally would have made out with this guy. But her platonic fling has lifted her mood for a the past coule of days...well, she's actually been floating on a cloud. It reminded me of my own kinda, sorta platonic fling:

When I was engaged, I went to another friend's crazy out of town bachelorette party. I drank and smoked dubious amounts of marijuana for several days. On that third day of party insanity, I found myself flirting with the cutest guy and doing shots of cointreau (gag!). As the night and our conversation wore on, I was more and more attracted to him. At that moment, I longed for a good, drunken, public makeout session, that was par for the course on a Saturday night in my 20s. In my drunken, drugged out haze, I said to the guy, who I knew was married, and who knew I was engaged, "If you want to kiss me, I'll let you. But it can only be the one kiss. That's it."

But he grabbed my hands and said, "Thank you. I would love to. Really. There is nothing right now that I would want to do more." I smiled and batted my lashes, waiting for my smooch.

"But, I have a 3 month old daughter at home and I just can't. I can't do it. I'm sorry. But thanks for the offer—it made my night," he continued.

I wanted to throw up. Maybe it was the shots of cointreau (enough to make even the most steel-stomached person puke). But I think it was the rejection. Combined with the sobering realization of what I had just proposed to this man and what would have happened had he taken me up on my offer.

So my question is this: Is there such a thing as an "innocent flirtaton"? When does it cross the line? And would kissing that guy (or if my friend smooched the celebrity) would really have been that bad?

Better yet—did you have a final fling before you got hitched? If so, do you regret it, or are you happy you cashed in when you still had the chance?


Feel-good food




Want proof that food can change your mood? Think Thanksgiving, the meal that leaves you as sleepy as a dose of Valium. Then there's the grande mocha latte; does anything else pick you up quite like a drink that combines two caffeine-saturated foods in one foamy cup? And when you're feeling low--your hard drive just detonated, your credit cards are maxed out, your college freshman just arrived home, mid-semester, with a moving van--you don't reach for broccoli, do you? No, you grab chocolate, because that's what makes you feel better.
Scientists, who once thought the food/mood link was as far-fetched as alien abductions, have changed their minds. Today there's plenty of research on the mind-altering effects of caffeine and alcohol. Studies on that nutritional evildoer, fat, have found that it can help you sleep, make you calm, and even ease your perception of pain. And according to one study, you shouldn't save chicken soup for the sniffles: Rats who had some slept better and were more agile. More important, they felt better--though how researchers divined that is a mystery.
While a brisk walk and meditation can also help a foul mood, let's face it: Sometimes you just want to eat your troubles away. And why not, when there's scientific evidence that some food can alter your brain chemistry?
Here are some nutritional ways to self-medicate that will fix you up without filling you out.
When You're Down in the DumpsFor no particular reason, you're feeling lower than a snake's belly: a little on the weepy side, kind of listless, thinking a big chunk of chocolate would lift you right up. Sometimes, without much effort--the weather changes, the check actually is in the mail--the mood passes, and all's right with the world. But if you're stuck in Dumpsville, try the 30-minute miracle meal: a low-fat, low-protein, high-carbohydrate snack: Think toasted English muffin with a dollop of blueberry jam seeping into those nooks and crannies.
When high-carbohydrate food isn't bogged down by the presence of protein or fat, they allow an amino acid called tryptophan to flood your brain, where it morphs into serotonin, a neurotransmitter that boosts mood and curbs food cravings (such as your chocolate yearnings). As a bonus, it helps you tolerate pain and can even help you sleep like a baby. And all that happens in just half an hour.
You could also have a piece of whole wheat bread with some honey or a bowl of air-popped popcorn, suggests Elizabeth Somer, RD, author of Food & Mood. But skip the protein foods such as cheese, chicken, or turkey. "They suppress serotonin," she says, "because all the other amino acids in them compete with tryptophan, so it can't get into your brain." If you really need chocolate, avoid the usually creamy, fatty kind (sorry), and drizzle fat-free chocolate syrup over cut-up fruit or an English muffin for a do-it-yourself pain au chocolat.

When You're SleepyIf you're not getting enough downtime at night, you can feel irritable, intolerant, inattentive, depressed, and more forgetful than folks who are happily knocking off the z's. There are medical reasons for insomnia, but "your problem might be at the table, not in the bedroom," says Somer. Here are some sleepy-time solutions:
Cut out caffeine. No, it's not really a "duh" suggestion. You know to avoid coffee, tea, cola drinks, and hot chocolate because of their caffeine content, but did you know there's caffeine in energy drinks, those trendy vitamin waters, even chocolate and coffee yogurts? It can all add up over a day--giving you sleepless nights. Switch to decaf or Postum, trade chocolate for carob, drink decaffeinated tea, and substitute sparkling water for cola. You might feel pretty awful for about 4 days as you go through withdrawal (headaches are common), but then you should start sleeping better and feeling more chipper. If you can't handle it cold turkey, try cutting out the caffeine gradually.
Lighten up on dinner. Big meals can keep you awake at night while your tummy churns away in overload. Eat a bigger breakfast and lunch instead, then have a small dinner consisting of about 500 calories. Add a tiny low-fat, low-protein, high-carb snack such as a piece of fruit and some graham crackers, a small dish of sorbet, or a low-fat oatmeal raisin cookie to tap into serotonin's soothing, drowsy effects.
Skip the nightcap. Alcohol makes you feel sleepy, but too much too close to bedtime interferes with your important REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, the phase that leaves you refreshed. Alcohol can also stop you from dreaming and can make sleep fitful, leaving you tired and crabby by morning. Limit alcohol to one or two drinks with dinner, and have two alcohol-free hours before bedtime. If you need a nighty-night drink, have some calming chamomile or valerian tea. Or drink a cup of warm milk with a little honey.
Have a chicken sandwich. Or enjoy a banana, sliced avocado, or half a baked potato. There's some evidence that people who have a lower copper intake (these foods are rich in this vital mineral) are more likely to have a hard time getting to sleep and feel less rested when they wake up.
When You're SADIf winter slides you into the doldrums, but you perk up again in spring, you may be highly sensitive to levels of natural light. Seasonal changes in the amount of daylight affect your brain, lowering serotonin. Severe symptoms signal Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which affects four times more women than men and requires treatment with a light box and antidepressants.
For some people, shrinking sunlight also depresses dopamine, a brain activator. Dopamine is the "search" chemical that makes you joyful, hungry for knowledge, and dauntless in seeking out something good to eat. Most SAD sufferers will benefit from a high-carbohydrate diet. But here's a twist: If you find that eating carbs makes you unable to stop, you may need a little more protein instead. Shifting the balance to more protein and fewer carbs raises dopamine without carbs' insulin rush, so your blood sugar remains steady, and your mood stays even, reports Somer. Check out sample SAD menus that demonstrate the differences in SAD Meals to Make You Happy.

When You're Feeling DullNow's the time for a coffee break. Within half an hour of drinking a cup, says Somer, you get a mental goose. Your nervous system gets revved, and you feel alert and better able to concentrate. Even your reaction time is faster. The caffeine in your cuppa joe effectively short-circuits a nerve chemical called adenosine that blocks your energy-boosting brain chemicals, helping them give you a healthy rush.
But, Somer warns, "caffeine is effective only up to your 'jitter threshold.' Add more coffee after this, and you're too buzzed to think clearly." Plus, once caffeine is out of your system, you get a letdown: fatigue that makes you want to reach for another cup. And another. And another.
To maintain a pleasant, temporary buzz, limit yourself to one to three 5-ounce cups of coffee a day, depending on how well you tolerate caffeine. (Watch portion size: A mug is usually much bigger than a cup, as are the servings in most coffee shops.) If you have trouble sleeping, avoid coffee and other caffeinated foods and beverages before bedtime.
When You're DepressedEat more fish. Mounting evidence says that omega-3 fatty acids (found in abundance in fatty fish such as salmon, herring, sardines, and tuna) may help ease depressive symptoms. A recent 9-month study of bipolar disorder (manic depression) was stopped after only 4 months because omega-3s were so effective at smoothing out moods. Another study showed that eating fish twice a week was associated with lower risk of depression and suicide.
Concerned about mercury? Fatty fish are relatively high in this metal, which is linked to birth defects and developmental problems in children whose mothers were exposed during pregnancy. Stick to wild Pacific salmon, shrimp, summer flounder, farmed catfish, croaker, haddock, and mid-Atlantic blue crab, all of which contain omega-3s but are low in mercury. Even kids and pregnant women can eat up to 12 ounces of these a week.
Don't do fish? Talk to your doctor about taking a fish oil supplement. Go to Consumerlab.com to learn about fish oil supplements that are safe and deliver what they promise. (While some of the information is free, full reports are only available by subscription. For $9, you can get 30-day access to a single product review; for $24, you have full access for a year.)
When You're IrritableFeeling snappish? Put down that java, and throw away the bear claw right now!
"Caffeine is a stimulant for some people, but it may make others irritable, especially if they are already depressed," says Larry Christensen, PhD, chairman of the psychology department at the University of South Alabama. And sugar, which normally has a soothing effect, can cause depression in some people.
If you have a short fuse and are depressed, cut out caffeine and sugar for about 2 weeks. If you feel better, add as much caffeine back as you eliminated for a week or two or until symptoms develop. If you return to biting off heads, consider yourself off the stuff permanently. If not, stir in the sugar, and see if your symptoms return. Feel nasty or depressed again? Switch to artificial sweeteners, or drink your coffee black.
When You're Way Beyond TiredIf you're too pooped to do the things you used to do--and too pooped to care--see your doctor. Fatigue can be the sign of a serious illness. It's one of the first signs of iron deficiency and anemia, the most common nutritional deficiency in the world, especially among children and women of childbearing age. The cause? Not getting enough iron from the food you eat.
As good as beans, grains, and veggies are for you, the form of iron they provide is weak and hard to absorb. The National Academy of Sciences estimates that vegetarians absorb only 10 percent of the iron in their diet, while a diet that contains some lean meat, poultry, or seafood will deliver the average requirement of about 18 percent. Animal protein not only contains more iron, it's a special form called heme that your body absorbs better than it does the iron from plants such as spinach (apologies to Popeye). And there's a bonus: The heme iron you get in your entree helps you absorb any iron from the plant foods in your side dish.
If you're feeling blah or listless, especially if you've cut back on meat, try eating shrimp, lean beef, lamb, dark chicken or turkey (without the skin), or fish and other seafood in 3-ounce portions twice a day. When meals don't include animal protein, add a high-vitamin C food such as citrus fruit or juice, melons, berries, dark green leafy vegetables, red or green bell peppers, or tomatoes to your meal. You'll at least double the iron you get from the other plant foods at the same meal. Adding a multivitamin with iron helps too.
And when all else fails, wash away fatigue with a glass of water. Somer says that chronic low fluid intake is a common, but often overlooked, cause of mild dehydration and fatigue.
Shake It Up for Stress!Your brain cells are capable of making their own chemical mood-stabilizers such as serotonin--if they get the right raw material from the food you eat.
And this shake has it all. Developed by Laura Pawlak, PhD, RD, author of Stop Gaining Weight, this stress-defying drink improves your mood and quiets stress without withdrawal, rebound cravings, or overeating. The supplements give the chemicals in the food an added boost, so you feel better fast.
Pawlak suggests you carry your shake in a thermos, so it's ready for your peak stress times. Skip caffeine for 2 hours before and after, since caffeine can limit serotonin's power.
Here's how to make it: In a blender, mix 1 large banana, 1 cup of pineapple juice, 1/2 cup of orange juice or strawberries, the pulp of one papaya or 1/2 cup of papaya nectar, and 1 to 3 teaspoons of flaxseed oil. Process until smooth. Drink with a multivitamin/mineral supplement containing 100 percent of the daily value of nutrients plus 200 micrograms of chromium picolinate.

Food tips frm Grandpa

My grandfather was a wonderful man who loved cookies. When I visited his lovely, old house surrounded by trees, flowers, vegetable gardens, and lawns, we shared all sorts of cookies, always paired with a large glass of cold milk. Over the years, they became so closely associated with visiting Granddad that now, whenever I have one, I feel buoyed by a swell of happy memories.
As it turns out, scientists have a solid explanation for that burst of good cheer. Studies by Richard Wurtman, MD, and Judith Wurtman, PhD, at MIT have shown that snacking on readily digested carbohydrates, such as those in a cookie or bagel, can raise the brain's level of the chemical serotonin, the very same target of modern antidepressant medication.
Of course, other foods are reputed mood boosters, too — though their reputations may not always be deserved. Before I give you a specific plan that will help you benefit from the MIT findings, let's look at a few. Tea is known as "the cup that cheers," and the caffeine in it can certainly improve energy. But that's a physiological response; no studies have confirmed a direct effect on your spirits. Mood booster? The jury's out. (The same is true of coffee.)
Alcohol is commonly thought of as a good-times libation, but it has a dark side. Although a recent study found that moderate drinkers (two drinks a day for men, one for women) had fewer depressive symptoms than nondrinkers, scores of other studies have established that alcohol in large quantities can be a devastating depressant. Mood booster? Perhaps, but only in small amounts.
As for chocolate, which many of us reach for as a pick-me-up: Australian scientists concluded recently that eating the sweet to lift your spirits "is more likely to prolong than abort the dysphoric [depressed] mood. It is not, as some would claim, an antidepressant." Mood booster? Apparently not. (Stick to a 1-ounce serving if you want to benefit from chocolate's disease-fighting antioxidants.)
That brings us to Granddad's cookies, which can brighten your spirits when eaten judiciously. (Incidentally, carb snacking may be more effective for women because they produce substantially less serotonin than men do.) Now, you won't want to try this regimen if you have diabetes or are prediabetic. But if you qualify, try raising your mood-lifting serotonin levels a couple of times a day by doing the following:
Include protein in each of your three meals.
This will raise blood levels of tryptophan, a chemical that eventually turns into serotonin. The best sources of tryptophan are poultry, seafood, and lean meat.
Have a small carbohydrate snack about 3 or 4 hours after each meal and about 1 hour before your next one.
Make sure that your stomach is empty and that you eat no protein between meals. The carbohydrates should be easily digestible — such as one or two oatmeal cookies, a third of a bagel, a slice of whole wheat bread. This will cause tryptophan in your blood to enter the brain, where it is metabolized into serotonin. Elevated serotonin will improve your mood within 20 to 30 minutes.
If you follow the rules, you'll also fall asleep more quickly at night, because at the end of the day, your brain metabolizes serotonin into the natural sleep aid melatonin. From happy to sleepy, all by way of a cookie. It doesn't get much cheerier than that!